Done, done, done!

Because I know you're all waiting with baited breath for the results of my math final I'll adress that first ;) I got a 79. Am I proud of a 79? Heck no. It's a C, one point away from a B but still. I am however happy that I ended up with a B for the class, low B, but a B none the less.
Food
B - 2 small pancakes (170 cals), with 1 serving sugar free syrup (25 cals), 1/2 banana (53 cals) and a smear of peanut butter (50 cals). Soooo yum, seriously.

(and no, I don't normally use disposable plates and such, just no room in this kitchen)

L - spring mix lettuce (12 cals) with 1 serving turkey breast (50 cals), 1 tbs salsa verde (11 cals), bit of cheese (40 cals), some avocado (50 cals), onion and tomato

Snack - pecan pie flavored Lara bar (200 cals)

D - Amy's organic tamale verde black bean with rice (looooooove it) (330 cals), 1/3 serving Ghirardelli dark chocolate (69 cals)

Snack - small plum (30 cals), Odwalla chocolate protein soymilk protein drink (2 servings is 340 cals) I've never drank it before but it's pretty good. A lady I work with has been drinking it and was praising it so I thought I'd give it a go. I think she drinks the ones that are more fruity but while I love a smoothie I'm not the biggest fan of something like a strawberry banana juice.

Exercise - nada, no pool, no nothin'



Today is a not good day. I really can't think of a better way to describe it. 6 years ago today my little brother, 10 yrs old, was hit and killed by a city bus. It was at this time 6 yrs ago that I was pacing the halls of a hospital praying for some type of miracle, for God to take me instead, just something. Instead, my brother Clint passed away some time after midnight on the 6th. His death is remembered by us, on his tombstone etc. as the 5th because one, he really did leave us on the 5th and was simply removed from life support on the 6th but secondly because the 6th is the birthday of my son Christian. Thankfully Christian was just 2 at the time and didn't realize that dark cloud that hung over his birthday that day and to be quite honest that still hangs over it a bit now. At that age he worshiped Clint and still talks about him, mainly from hearing us keeping his memory alive. Some day I will talk to Christian more about what also happened on his birthday but I'm honestly going to put that off as long as possible. Clint's death itself obviously changed our lives forever but also changed family relationships. Without going into detail, there was a rift caused surrounding the death and while I mourn the loss of my sweet, spoiled, smart, mischievious, loving brother I also mourn the loss of the family dynamics as I knew them. It sucks, truly. We all have guilt to a certain degree regarding it. Myself and my husband took our family to Disney that day and my husband and I have often said "if we had just taken him with us". I don't know whether it works or not, but I pray every night that Clint be told that I said hi and that I'm thinking of him. I've made it through fine today and now I'm crying, ugh. I'll end it now and try now to look like a sobbing mess before a coworker walks through ;)

~amy